A View from the Top

Closing Down

2010-09-11T16:34:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogsters

Sorry to have to write that I'm not going to update this blog again for the foreseeable future, might be back at some point but for now gonna give it a rest.

The reason is that I've lost the passion for bondage, it will always be a part of me but recent events have kinda killed it off for me at the moment.

Generally it's the timewasters that have ruined it for me, take this week, I've had a week off so penciled some meets in, well 6 meets in total, none of which turned out to be genuine, so after that I've decided to give the whole thing a rest.

Thanks for your patronage.

Cartoonboi.

Bondage Dream Team 4

2010-08-27T21:58:00.000+01:00

Hey

So the inal of the first round of dream team guys, the winner of this round will go through to the next stage against the finalists from the other polls, alongside Jamie bel from the last poll.

So come on vote for your favourite!

Justin Timberlake - American Pop Sensation

Andy Roddick - American Tennis Player

James Toseland - British Superbikes Rider

Ben Adams - British Pop Star

Ciaran Griffiths - British Actor

So come guys gt voting for your favourite!

Bondage Dream Team Round 3

2010-08-11T20:15:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogsters

Sorry for the delay in the next round of the Bondage Dream Team, been crazy mad at work!

So here we go, usual format, use your votes wisely!

Stuart Broad - England Cricketer (He's also from my home town)..he he

Jake Gyllenhaal - American Actor

Fernando Torres - Spanish Footballer

Jamie Bell - English Actor

Russell Howard - English Comedian

Poll Results

2010-07-31T09:57:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogsters

Round two of the bondage dream team poll has closed and the winner joining Tom Welling is Jack O'Connell.

Stay tuned for the next poll due later today!

Dream Team 2

2010-07-27T11:59:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogsters

So here we have it, round two of the hottest male celeb you'd want to tie.

So here's how it's gonna work, the winner of this poll goes through to the next stage with Tom Welling who won the last poll.

And then we pick another 2 celebs to go through to the semi-finals.

Any suggestions on who you want to be added to the poll, leave me a comment with suggestions.

Have fun voting.....

Jamie Bamber - British Actor most notably recognised from hit series Battlestar Galactica

Michael Owen - British Football Star

Matt Damon - American Actor

Jack O'Connell - British TV actor from the new series of Skins.

Hayden Christensen - American actor and Darth Vader...he he

So there you have it people, get voting!

Things

2010-07-27T11:40:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogsters

Well it looks like Tom Welling won the poll, I'm personally dissapointed that Gethin and Bear didn't score higher...lol

You might notice a new addition to the bottom of the posts, I have added reaction buttons, so those of you that don't really want to go to the trouble of commenting in text can click a small tick box and let me know how the post was for you!

Go on click the little tick boxes, it's fun...lol

So I've decided I'm going to run a best of the best poll, so Tom will go through to the next stage, stay tuned for the next poll of fit guys, and we'l end up with finalists so we can pick the best celeb to be bound up!

Speak soon Blogsters!

Mummification

2010-07-16T23:26:00.000+01:00

Oddly enough I've either noticed more guys into mummification than uual or my interest has been peaked and because of that my mind has picked them up but definately like this method of restraint.

Not sure why but there is something definately quite horny about a guy totally being restrained head to toe and unable to do anything other than the odd squirm and roll, and even less than that if you tie his cocoon down to something...lol

Over ths last couple of years I've done a few wraps and experimented with a few different things (tapes, wraps etc) some partial wraps some full wraps (head to toe).

The problems encountered can be more than expected as well, as a top you have to try and second guess everything possible and plan for each contingency and sometimes it can be difficult but for those of you thinking of heading into the world of mummification there are a few things to consider.

1] Heat - make sure the room you are playing in is cool, you might be ok at 18-20 degrees with clothing but when the sub is wrapped their bodyheat can't escape so it won't take long for them to overheat, try keeping the room below 18 degrees and have a cold wet towel ready to hand.

2] Pressure points - the knees and ankles are two major pressure points when wrapped if you don't pad the ankles and knees it can reduce bloodflow.

3] Escape - make sure you have a pair of good dressing scissors to hand to be able to release the sub quickly and safely.

Loads more but they are the main ones I can think of right now, might add to this list later.

Hogtied trying to make a call.

2010-07-14T00:05:00.000+01:00

Cute guy in a nice tie, not exceptionally secure but thee is definately something about this video that makes me go mmmmmmm....lol

Playing with Couples

2010-07-10T18:47:00.002+01:00

Hi Blogsters

After indulging myself with pictures of hot male celebrities...he he I thought I'd better post something serious again.

How many of you out there have played as a couple or played with couples?

Recently I was approached by a couple of guys locally who wanted to play, now this could be pretty cool apart from the fact that one of the two was not into bondage but his partner wanted to be tied up and he wanted to allow him to experience it.

Now I think that's a pretty healthy way to be, and I was quite impressed with the guy not into bondage wanting to allow his partner to play.

After chatting a while I discovered that the partner not into bondage assumed that bondage was all about sex and that anyone into it immediately had sex as soon as the rope etc was applied. This made me realise that most people probably think this and it's probably why a few guys I know who love bondage are no longer able to play because their partners assume the same thing and aren't into bondage.

Jason (the guy not into bondage, obviously not his real name) thought that his boyfriend saw it as purely a sexual experience and maybe wasn't getting what he should be getting from his relationship and quite rightly felt threatened and a little jealous about the whole affair. So after pointing out to him that it's simply not the case and that it can be stress relief and alot of guys I play with are in it for the fun and bondage alone and not the sexual aspect. He listened and had the outlook that his partner really loved it and that it wasn't fair to ban or discourage through his behaviour from doing it.

So I chatted with Jason a while more and he hit the nail right on the head when he said that he loved golf and that he couldn't ever imagine not being able to play again, so why should he stop his partner doing something he enjoyed as long as it didn't involve sex, I praised his attitude and wondered to myself how many of the guys I've spoken to who have given up bondage when they are in a relationship have even told their partners let alone approached the subject with such maturity as to actually find a guy willing to let them play.

It makes me wonder if the partners of kinky guys even know half of the time if their partners like bondage, I mean surely not everyone can be so anti bondage that they are unwilling to see the benefit if having an open and understanding healthy relationship, can they?

So if you're currently reading this and it rings true then I guess you have to ask yourself the question.

Do I tell him?

If I were you then yes.

I'm wondering as I type this if the guys who know and still disallow (for want of a better word) are so mis-informed about bondage and their own partner's desires. Or is it something more along the lines of their own insecurities manifesting in them being unable to allow their partners out of their sights, it seems odd as most of these guys seem to be pretty one sided on this score and the ones I know of are happy to go off on their own to fulfill their own desires but you just try and get them to agree to allow their partner to do the same! Finally could it be that they cannot see how they would be able to be in the same position without sex and so expect the same of their partner, at which point this becomes a trust issue, do they not trust their partner?

Who knows?

So I guess I'm holding these guys up to be the new standard bearers for how relationships should be, my god I wish there where more open minded and liberal guys out there, I know I'd be up for some damn good sessions if more partners were like Jason.

Bondage Dream Team

2010-07-09T21:12:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogsters

I've been thinking sat here in front of my PC who would be my Bondage Dream Team...he he

So out of all the celebrities, I have chose the following males I NEED to tie!

Danny Dyer - English Actor, Cockney wide boy and all round sexy man!

Ben Affleck - Always had a thing for him

Gethin Jones - Welsh presenter and adventure hunter

Tom Welling - US Actor and superman! he he

Bear Grylls - Ex - SAS Soldier and hardman, well you'd need to be with a name like Bear...lol

So I'm putting up a poll for you guys to rate the guys I've picked in order of preference, because I simply can't decide...lol have fun thinking of all the bad things you could do to them...he he

Heatwave!

2010-07-09T20:37:00.002+01:00

Hey Blogsters

Those of you in the UK will know we are currently in the midst of a heatwave and the North West of the country have just been banned from using hosepipes for the first time in 15 years.

It's currently 25 Celsius in my house and I don't do heat! my poor old dog is laying sprawled out on a tiled floor, poor thing, I can't imaging having a fur coat in this weather, it's bad enough wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

So onto my point!

Some of you reading this will no doubt be thinking "25 degrees, that's not hot" well fair comment if you live in Arizona or another desert region but you don't get 89% humidity like the forecast for Monday...lol

But my point is, that as both a top or bottom bondage is generally a strenuous activity, both from a tying perspective and from a being tied in a position one's body isn't generally used to or struggling against your bondage.

So my question is would you have a session in this heat without the use of an air conditioned room or house?

Now for me it's a no go, simply because I hate the heat in general let alone moving someone around and moving around someone as I tie them, not to mention I'd rather not be a totally sweaty mess after I've finished tying someone..lol

I guess the same goes for alot of you, I know you're bound to be a tad sweaty when you've finished struggling against some good bondage, and working that kind of sweat up is cool, but when you're sweating because you're limbs are touching each other is not good, not only do you risk dehydration but it's not particularly attractive...lol

So I guess the whole seasonality of bondage comes into play again, so far in my experience there are definite seasons when sessions are plenty and you can pick and choose, this is generally March/April, and September/October. The times when hardly anyone plays is the run up to and just after Christmas when the money situation is tight and the winter is taking it's toll and during the high summer months when everyone is flying off on holiday.

So enjoy the sunshine while it lasts as I melt away slowly in a corner like a snowman sat under a patio heater, and bring on September when Bondage season kicks back in!

See you all later

What you Want

2010-07-07T19:38:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogsters

Hope you're all ok?

So today's subject is about letting people know what you want and being realistic about what you want/like as well.

As a top I find very often people's fantasies write cheques that their bodies and fears won't cash.

Sometimes guys look over the web and see pictures that they want to be in, and yeah we all do it, well from my perspective, I'd like to be doing it to someone, but you get the idea. But being realistic I don't have the experience or the equipment to reproduce some of the best stuff I've seen, so I shall wait until such time as I feel able to accomplish things and targets.

I think it's important for bottoms to be the same as well, after all if you tell someone you want to be tied in a particular way and it isn't as much fun as you think, remember you're the one that set that limit!

There is of course a duty of care to the sub if you're doing the tying, but if you read my post on communication then you should be giving feedback.

I guess this sounds like a rant, and it is to a certain degree, not because of any one experience but more of an accumulation of people who's fantasy imagination bears no resemblance to their actual experience or willingness to participate in something they have expressed a wish in doing.

What I'm basically tryng to say is, by all means tell me your fantasies, I'll share some of mine from time to time, but let me know it's just that, and then I can help people reach them.

Missing Limbs

2010-06-29T19:21:00.000+01:00

Hey People

Sorry for the delay in the next post, been manic at work and got the nieghbour from hell keeping me awake, anyway enough of my whining and whinging, how are you all?

Right onto the subject of the post, which is a tad random I know but one that I think should be covered off.

So all you tops out there, I want to ask you a question..........

If you were approached by an amputee, would you have a session?

Might seem a random and odd question but the thought occured to me watching the news about the poor heroes returning from the war in Afghanistan having lost legs and arms and working damn hard to live a normal life afterwards with a prosthetic limb. I guess there are more than a few gay guys with replacement limbs and mathematics dictates that at least some of them must be kinky.

So if you were approached by a guy with let's say a missing leg, would you want to tie him?

I've asked myself the question a few times over the last couple of days, and I have to say that although it might be a bit odd, if he matched what I look for in a sub I'd definitely give it a shot, after all could be fun! and it shouldn't be any different from tying a guy with both legs, might be a tad odd if it cam loose but hey, it could be quite amusing as long as the guy was comfortable enough to laugh about it.

So pretty much I wanna know if any of you have either been approached, had a session with, or have a replacement limb, and your thoughts,

Answers on a postcard please!

lol

Back!

2010-03-14T21:08:00.000Z

Hey Blogsters

Sorry for the long period with no activity, life's been a bitch and I've been busy as hell in general.

Also I don't know about any other tops out there but there seems to be a lull in meets in Jan/Feb and now it's March it's starting to pick up again, I guess it's something to do with the bad winter and dark nights etc but glad the sun has finally started to peak out from behind the clouds and showered us with some welcome UV rays!

Anyway guys thanks for sticking around and watch this space, got some good stuff planned in the future weeks/months.

See ya laters!

Blog Polls

2010-01-02T20:59:00.000Z

Right Blogsters

New Year and all that so you will notice there isn't a new poll following the results of poll 4, and the reason for this is that I'd like some suggestions from you for the next poll.

I like to think that you enjoy the polls so theperson who comes up with the best poll suggestion will get to see it next week on the blog.

So get your thinking caps on and leave a comment with your poll question and I'll pick a winner or I may even put it to a vote for a day!

Looking forward to hearing your suggestions.

Happy New Year and Poll Results 4

2010-01-02T20:53:00.000Z

Hey Blogsters

First of all Happy New Year, and I hope 2010 proves to be as good a year to you guys as it's started out for me so far!

I've obviously seen the poll results and a record number of votes this time, I've been hovering around the 14 votes total for a while but this month a whopping 32!

An excellent majority for Socks and Trainers though and being somewhat democratic in nature I listen to the public vote so here you go bondage friends some of the my favourite pics of ties in socks and trainers!

Seriously thouh hope you all have a good year!

Happy Christmas

2009-12-26T02:53:00.001Z

Hey Blogsters

Well another Christmas has been and gone, just want towish you all a good time over the next week and into the new year.

Poll Results 3

2009-12-23T23:03:00.000Z

Hey Blogsters

Well the third poll has now closed and with a gasp of suprise I notice that you have voted for Football Socks, I prefer white socks myself, but the public have spoken!

I don't have many pics of guys tied up in footie socks so unfortunately there won't be the usual selection of pictures, but enjoy those below!

And by the way hope you're all having a good holiday season?

Sub Experience

2009-12-17T19:56:00.000Z

Hey Blogsters

A few sites I visit have had a question rumbling around them for some time now and it never appears to be answered and I doubt it ever will be, but I thought for what it's worth I'll stake my position and draw the metaphorical line in the sand.

The eternally difficult to answer question is.....

"Do Tops/Masters need to have Subbed to be good?"

Now my answer to this is NO.

Some of you may be suprised some of you not, and that's the problem with the question, it's down to personal choice, now I'm not denying that experiencing something from the other side now and then can do you good but each to their own.

For me the idea of subbing for anyone is simply abhorent I'm a top and always will be, I cannot imagine ever being able to let go of control to anyone.

I know some of you may find that odd, but there are subs/bottoms who would never dream of tying or topping a guy, so why do people find it soodd that a top would never want to be a bottom?

I guess the age old perception is that if you are on the bottom rung of a ladder (not that I'm saying being a bottom is but stick with me) you have to work your way up and it's hard and difficult to do so it's easier to stay where you belong. However the perception is also that if you are the top you have to have worked your way up to be any good.

I think that's why the question is difficult to answer, I could never be a bottom and I know a few guys just like me and many bottoms who could never top but that doesn't make them bad tops or bad bottoms, in fact in many cases it makes it harder to learn, much easier to work your way up and learn as you go than to start at the top and learn in the job.

Anyway that's my two penneth.

I welcome feedback as always on the subject, in fact I ask you to comment!

See ya later Blogsters!

Poll Results 2

2009-12-12T11:32:00.000Z

Hey Guys

So the second poll has closed and as usual I'd like to comment on it.

I like the feedback the poll affords me on the blog, and lets me know what kind of gys read my blog, it's nice to see so many of you are on the same wavelength as myself.

Now on to the results,

another 50% result, resoundingly for Trackies and Trainers or Sneakers for those of you across the pond.

Now I have no idea why I find it so attractive on a bound guy but I do, there is probably some psychological reason for it but I have no idea what, if any of you have any insights into it then feel free to post a comment and let me know!

So onto a few of my faves of lads tied in trackies and trainers!

Enjoy!!

hogcuffed muscled lad in tracies and Nikes!

Another hogcuffed lad in his nikes

Different view of him cuffed in his nikes.

hogtied in his Shox and trackies, gagged with his own footie socks.

Communication

2009-12-12T11:16:00.000Z

Hey Blogsters

Sorry for the delay in posts but been really busy in the run-up to xmas...grrrr and not in a good way.

Anyway onto today's subject!

Communication, this is probably the most important aspect in my opinion in any session or indeed the run up to a session.

So let me take you through a scenario as illustration.

You arrange a session with a guy, you've chatted online and he's told you what he likes and what his limits are etc, now at this point you have to take his word for that, you have no choice really unless it's something you're really not into yourself.

So the day of the meet arrives and so does the guy, I will always re-check with him what he likes and his limits as at this point he's not sat at his pc at home with his cock in his hand...lol and also the reality of the situation is probably foremost in his mind at the moment stood before you.

So he confirms everything and you get started, he's now all tied in whatever position you've thought of prior to him arriving, probably gagged and blindfold as well (just how I like em)...he he

Soif you're anything like me you need some feedback even gagged feedback with a signal to say it's ok to carry on or that he's feeling ok, and this is the problem, many guys seem to think that if he voices that everything is not ok then it all stops and you get pissed off, that's not the case at all and tops need to know that you are cool there all tied up etc.

So as a top if no feedback is given you are left with two options, follow what he stated as his limits or dull down the session so you don't cross any lines. I'm a cautious kind of guy so normally dull things down hoping that everything is ok.

So the session ends and the guy is now able to speak and all you get was "it was ok" well please come on guys give us some more feedback...

Basically what I'm trying to say is that if you're going to get the most out of a session either as a top or bottom you have to be free with your opinions and thoughts so you can make sessions more suitable to your needs in both directions.

Hope that all made sense?

That's all for now blogsters.

Poll Results

2009-12-01T19:49:00.000Z

Hey Blogsters

As the poll has closed I thought I would comment on it.

The majority oof you, well 50% of you voted for Tape Gags as your favourite type of gag.

Now I have a thing for tapegags, either tape lone or something like a sock or other wad of cloth stuffed in the guy's mouth before being taped up, movie tapegag's just don't cut it anymore.

I'm sure most of you will be the same as me, as in you saw tape gags for the first time as a kid on the TV, when one small strip of tape would effectively gag the hero, and then you grow older and suddenly you try out bondage for the first time and unless you're lucky enough to find a guy who's face will stick to a single strip of tape and keep him gagged, you realise nothing but 1/4 of a roll will silence someone who wants to say something!

So Blogsters and lovers of tapegags, here are a few of my personal favourites from my collection of tape gags I've done in the past.

No stuffing, but tape pulled nice and tight and wrapped around a few times.

Mouth stuffed with his own sock and taped up tightly.

A few strips added together to seal his mouth shut.

Well that's it for today blogsters, and check out the new poll, vote and hopefully you'll see some more pics!

Cock Pics

2009-11-28T19:49:00.000Z

Hey Blogsters

Sorry for the delay in posting but real life has thrown some curve balls at me lately.

However, watch out because I'm back...he he

Right onto today's topic, wich is pretty self explanatory with the title, I know the majority of you must have been asked for a picture of your cock before, I knw I have, countless times!

So what is it with people obsessed with pictures of other lads cocks? I mean if you want to see one, have a look in your pants! They are far from the best looking part of the male anatomy and most look pretty similiar unless you have one of those hideous mutant cocks that look nothing like how it supposed to, and those with them are often oblivious to this fact.

Anyway I digress, I find the whole swapping cock pics pretty pointless, after all I need to see what's attached to it as well, and find it a total turn off if people send me them as ways of opening a conversation, after all would any of you out there honestly say Hi to somebody in a bar and then whip out your cock as a pre-cursor to a chat?

If any of you answered yes to the question above please stop reading any further and seek urgent medical advice...he he

I was chatting to a mate the other da who had been sent a message from someone who's profile pic was a cock and I think he summ up how I feel about this pretty much, in fact he was right on the button when he said he felt like sending a message back saying "you look like a penis" ha ha ha

So no more cock pics please unless you want to be labelled as a complete cock.

See ya later Blogsters!

First Sessions

2009-11-22T12:25:00.000Z

Hey Blogsters

I don't know about you, but I get asked by alot of new potential victims what I'll do to them on a first session.

Now I understand it's important to them to know what's going to happen and it's not an unreasonable question to ask, in fact I don't mind them asking the question but sometimes it can be very very difficult to answer.

Why? I hear you ask, well the reason being that everyone has their own little kinks, horny things, no-go's, and limits. And with that in mind most people are treated differently and have a different first session with me, there are so many deciding factors that go into determining what I'll be doing on a first session. Experience being a major one of those factors.

Now I wouldn't do the same to a new guy that I'd do to someone I've met a few times, pretty much because I don't wanna frighten them off or worse put them off kink!

It's important that I get feedback from the person I'm going to tie, I need to know what pushes your buttons and what doesn't, without this info I can't plan a first session, and most of the time I will play it by ear.

The only thing I can say for definate that is going to happen is that when you arrive we'll have a chat and a drink before we start, and then if you're new to the scene we can have a look at the ropes and cuffs etc and them start playing.

So many guys expect you to know exactly what you'll do on a meet and to be honest most of the time I don't unless I know the guy very well, it's mainly a mix of stuff I know I can do and then gauge reactions to it as I go along, mix it up try a bit of new stuff and see how it goes. So I'm not avoiding answering the question when guys ask it's simply I don't know until I have you stood in front of me, I can give you an outline but that's about it.

Just want people to understand nothing is really pre-programmed into a session unless it's something that we've mutually agreed beforehand, and even then sometimes it doesn't happen because the guy has not realised there is a distinct difference between reality and fantasy and can't handle what we've discussed.

Which brings me nicely onto my next topic to be posted later!

See ya later Blogsters!

Misleading Profile Names

2009-11-21T11:35:00.000Z

Hey Blogsters

Something that as tops and bottoms most people have fallen foul of in the past is misleading Profile ID's. What I mean by that is having a year or two digit number at the end of a name, for example

notarealname80

So looking at that one might assume that the owner of that profile is 29 years old, so you click on it as they've cruised you or left you a message or wink whatever. Only when you open the profile the age is 58 etc etc.

Now that number may very well mean something to the guy owning the profile but at that point for me I feel like I've just been mislead, which invariably means I won't bother reading anything on the profile now as I'm just annoyed I've been mislead.

Now some of you may think, "here we go, another ageist". Well if you want to label me as that I don't have a problem with it. But for me it's a matter of choice and I simply don't get turned on by tying guys old enough to be my father, in fact it kinda repulses me. I can't help that anymore than I can't like hating Peas and Beer. I'm here to have fun like everyone else and just because I am a top does not mean I am here to make you feel good as if I owe you something. I'm not going to get anything out of it so what's the incentive for me to tie you?

So there you have it, any bottoms out there that have misleading numbers at the end of your profile do us all a favour and take them off or correct them.

There's also another edge to this as well which is that the terms Boy and Cute in my own opinion should be reserved for those under 30 realistically. There have been a few profiles and one in particular that describe someone as cute that are much older than me, now I know it's a suggestive thing, but does anyone else think that describing yourself as cute at 40 a tad odd???

Anyways I'll leave it there befre I start to sound like a Nazi or worse a member of the BNP! Neither of which I am by the way.

See you all later Blogsters!

Top vs Master

2009-11-18T16:42:00.006Z

Hey Blogsters!

Now as some of the more astute of you may have noticed I refer to the guys I tie as Bottoms rather than subs and to myself as a Top rather than a Dom or Master.

So what's the difference?

That's a very good question and one I think people struggle with, after all they are not as interchangeable as one might think, after all I don't see the lads I tie as sub-human or a lower class of citizen than I, to me all parties are equal unless you turn out to be a complete dingbat with less intelligence than your average wristwatch in which case I can come across as mildly superior...he he

There are more definitions than a little flying around the web and you may have one of your very own but for me the lines are very clear and I would like to share them with you.

Bondage Top - Derives pleasure and satisfaction from both parties having as much fun out of a session as possible, likes to play around with things but is basically an equal to the bondage bottom.

Dom/Master - Subjects submissives to their whims dependant on how they feel, want, need out of a session, learns abut the subs needs but essentially it's more about the dom than the sub.

Bondage Bottom - An equal to the top but enjoys being restrained teased etc, has as much fun as the top and is respected as an individual.

Submissive/Slave - Expected to submit to their dom, follow their orders and do as they are told or face punishments/sanctions. Will grow in a way their dom decides and are generally a lesser being in the Dom/Sub relationships.

Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with either side of the coin, it's a big world and there is enough room for us all to live as we please. Some may disagree with my interpretation and that is also fine, I have very little knowledge of the Dom/Sub roles apart from what I have read so I'm open to criticism or people dropping me a line and putting me straight.

I guess as a top it can sometimes be difficult to see things from a bottom's perspective, and vice versa, after all it's why I decided to write this blog in the first place.

I have recently been following the blog of a young American guy who I think would describe himself as a Switch. If you would like to know more or compare the Bottom vs Sub side of things I think it would be a good place to have a look around, he's pretty sorted and has alot to offer in terms of perspective.

http://www.beninleatherland.blogspot.com

I've no doubt that he'd be happy for you guys to have a look, and not only does he have a good head on his shoulders, he's also pretty damn cute too!

That's it for today Blogsters, unless inspiration hits me after a few more JD's...he he

Timewasters

2009-11-18T12:09:00.006Z

Right so into more bondage related items now I've gotten over my mushy moment...he he

Now this is not aimed at any particular person, but no doubt as a top you WILL encounter more than a few of these people.

time waster (time wasters plural ), time-waster If you say that someone or something is a time waster, you mean that they cause you to spend a lot of time doing something that is unnecessary or does not produce any benefit

So that's the dictionary's definition of a timewaster and it's correct to what I would term as one. Now you'd thnk after several years of meeting guys as a top I'd be able to spot them a mile away, but alas that's not the case, each have different ways of wasting your time and although there are definite flgs for potential timewasters you can never be sure until they either show or don't.

Some of you bottoms who read this may not appreciate why this is such a hot topic among tops in the community, after all it can't be that bad can it?

Well let me take you through what a top experiences for a moment, hopefully you'll see why tops in particular get pissed off when you get another timewaster.

Before a session starts most bottoms are quite happy to have a shower, shave put on clean clothes etc or dress in the way the top has told them to. There may be a few specific requirements as well but in the mo part you have to get ready and leave to get to your destination, with hopefully some form of safety call if it's a first time meet.

So that's the bottom on his way, let's turn our attention for a moment towards the top preparing.

So first off he will have to shower, shave etc and dress appropriately, then you have to prepare your play space or room for the session, this could mean moving furniture around or things of a similiar vain. Then unpacking his kit if it's not on show all of the time, ensuring that all the locks and keys work that's it's all clean andready for use. It could mean lubricating cuffs, checking for kinks or threads on ropes.

Then we move onto environment, is the room or house too cold or too hot, is the lighting right for what you want to achieve. Finally you have to lock or hide away all of your valuables, wallets etc, after all you don't realy know these people.

So dependant on the kind of session you're going to have this can take consiserable time and effort to ensure that everything is in place ready for the bottom to arrive.

I'm not omplaining here as this is something you get used to doing as a top and have to accept if you're ever going to have a successful bondage career as a top rather than just the odd fun meet, so we get on with it regardless.

So then imagine you've done all of that and the person fails to show at the station or just doesn't turn up. and then imagine it's not the first time this has happened, imagine it's been the third arranged meet in a row. Now tops are human too and they are gonna get pretty pissed off, they're probably horny and looking forward tying up whomever they have arranged a meet with, so dissapointment + frustration + preparation = some pretty annoyed people.

Take into account as well that you have arranged a meet with someone in advance, then your mates call or text asking if you're busy as they are all off somewhere nice for the day, so having made arrangements to play you pass on that opportunity, then you are let down so you're left all alone waiting for someone that doesn't show.

Now I know it's not only bottoms who do this and it's jjust as annoying in both directions but hopefully after reading this you'll appreciate why it's such a hot potato among tops.

Now if you're going to be a top it's a sad fact that you're just going to have to accept this scenario as pretty much the norm and I've found it goes in runs, so you may have three months where all your meets happen, and then six months where you get one meet in five that actually happens. It's important that you don't give up to the feelings of anger and bitterness as it can ruin your bondage mojo and lead to you giving it up.

Now between myself and tieguyuk we've become quite good at anticipating a timewaster, like I said you can't always spot them, but you can prepare yourself for them mentally and not put in as much effort in prep work as you are expecting them not to show.

A few of the indicators are listed below.

1] Brand new profiles with little or no information, no pics or all hidden pics.

2] When the person messages you the first thing they ask is what would you do with me.

3] Endless chat and questions about what you want to do or what they want you to do to them, now this can be misleading as sometimes they need to know, but if they tell you what they are into and then try and lead you as much as possible into describing a scene or session it's a pretty good indicator.

4] No other profiles on the net anywhere, including facebook, bebo, myspace etc.

5] You see the pitures of them somewhere else on a totally different website and profile.

6] They make excuses fr not being able to meet or vanish offline when you try and arrange a date for a meet.

7] The day before the meet they vanish offline and you don't see them back online again until the day after the meet was supposed to happen and they send you an apologetic message with some pathetic excuse.

Now all of these things point towards timewasters, and they all work both ways from a top or bottom perspective.

I say point as there are always exceptions to every rule and sometimes the least likely to arrive will show up and meet, not often but it does happen.

I'm trying not to tar everyone with the same brush and there will always be perfectly acceptable reasons for no-shows, car breakdowns, family crisis, accidents and injuries, but if you let the top or bottom know as soon as you know it avoids in most cases the timewaster label. However more commonly it's just you wake up and don't feel horny anymore, you've had a wank and got it out of your system looking at bondage porn.

So basically guys it's a sad fact of life that either as a top or bottom you will end up having your time wasted, it's just the way society is going and there's not alot you can do to stop it, you just have to try and spot it before it does so that you're not suprised each time.

Give and Take

2009-11-17T10:49:00.002Z

A comment I made to the guy I tied lastnight made me think a bit more and it's been on my mind for a few hours now.

I was telling him about the types of bottom you get and what to look out for in general when meeting guys and I happened to mention what myself and a friend term as "Do Me Queens".

Now you may laugh at the term but if you're a top reading this you'll probably know the type of person I mean, the kind of bottom who wants everything their own way.

Now I like a bottom to have a damn good time, otherwise what's the point if they don't? But I also like to have a good time and for me that means a nice gag and blindfold and being able to take some pics, now I know that not everyone wants facepics and that's fine by me, I don't mind altering a camera angle or two to avoid a face or cover your face in tape or something so that you're unrecogniseable to anyone but a forensic scientist....lol.

But for bottoms to say no to agag or a blindfold (and yes they do exist) and then constantly whine about what you are doing indicates they are there for no other reason than to get their cock played with and being able to shoot their load, which in my book makes them a "Do Me Queen".

Now that might sound like I want it all my own way, that's not the case, I'm happy to work most things into a session that a guy finds horny, even if I don't particularly enjoy it as long as there is a good mix of stuff I enjoy in there as well.

Bottoms sometimes fail to realise that it's not all about them, of course they need to feel comfortable with what is happening in a session, but tops aren't bondage machines that can just turn it on and off, we have to be in the mood as well, and sometimes we can't just enjoy playing with your cock for your amusement while we're worrying about something in our private lives...lol

So the other types of bottom I have experienced.

1] Well rounded know exactly what they like and happy to accomodate your little kinks, this bottom is qute rare.

2] "Do Me Queens", as explained above.

3] Know it all, they've done everything, want tying tighter, faster and more intricate than you have just done it, or whine about every little knot or twist in the rope.

4] Newbie, these guys are great new to kink and happy to experiment, if you find one hold onto him as they are the best in my opinion, you can mould them and the excitement they get from the simple stuff as a top you do all the time as standard is electric and really makes my day.

5] Midly experienced, can be as good as a newbie in some respects, as long as they are not verging on the "do me queen" scale.

6] Dead Fish - People wh once tied give you no struggling, stay perfectly still and silent, you can manipulate them and play with their cock etc and no response at all, in short you may as well have bound a dead body for all the reaction you're getting.

No doubt any tops reading this will recognise a few people in those categories and the bottoms will probably never think they are any of them.

So that's it for now, may post more later as it comes to me.

Bondage Lesson

2009-11-17T00:35:00.001Z

So as mentioned in my previous post "Experience" I met up with the guy I haven't seen in an age and although nervous about teaching him some pretty basic stuff I was suprised at how much I enjoyed it.

Felt good to share some knowledge and I got to tie him up again after we were done with the lesson, so all's good!

That's all for now folks.

Kink in Relationships

2009-11-16T14:28:00.003Z

So another post already, I'm on a roll!

I decided it was time I wrote about a subject currently quite close to my heart, the reason for this is that not only am I currently in a relationship with the cutest man alive (My opinion obviously) but so are a few of my friends some kinky some not.

Recently kink as part of a relationship has become a hot topic in my life,I met my boyfriend through kink and it was somewhat of a wake up call for me as I'd not actually gotten close enough to form a relationship with a bottom before, of course I've had a few drinks etc with bottoms but never really clicked with someone like I have with my new man.

Now the first part of this post is going to discuss meeting for kink whilst in a relationship where both parties know about each other's kinks and accept them and the second will follow another situation where one person in a relationship doesn't know the other one is kinky.

So let's kick off with the first part!

I obviously know my boyfriend is a kinky little bugger, I was the first person to ever tie him and as such I was quite honest with him and tell him that it would be good for him to go see a few more tops to get a broader perspective and find what it is he likes in his own way like the rest of us. Now it's one thing saying it and meaning it at the time but totally another thing to actually have it happen.

I mean where do you set the limits? is it ok for him to sleep with these people, to kiss them, to have his cock played with or play with other people's cocks? All of these things run through your head during a discussion and I came to the conclusion that I'd be ok as long as there was no kissing, fucking or things along those lines, after all I love this guy so I don't want him to be personally intimate with someone else.

Which brings me onto intimate vs personally intimate. I guess the definition of intimate is quite broad but for me in it's rawest terms means seeing or touching another's genitals, now personally intimate for me means that you derive sexual pleasure from touching or playing with genitals, penetrative sex, or kissing. Those things should be in my opinion reserved for the person you are in a relationship with. So that's my view.

So on with the story, so my BF decides he's gonna meet another top who lives relatively close to him, and being the supportive and pretty much chilled out boyfriend I try so hard to be I said "you do what you want, just remember to let me know when you get there and when you leave that everything is ok" so off he goes.

I get a text message when he arrives and he tells me he should be leaving by 11pm so I sit and wait. Trust me when I say I trust my man implicitly and I know he'd never do anything that would compromise my trust but the thoughts creep into my head about 9pm that maybe this other top might, and being bound and gagged it's unlikely that my bf would be able to do anything about it if he did.

So I paced, watched TV, played a computer game all the time thinking this through until 11pm, I picked up my phone and checked it for messages, nothing! So I waited another ten-fifteen minutes and texted him to see if he was ok.

Now in the meantime I logged into one of the profile sites and a message popped up from the top who my bf had gone to see

"I'd let him answer that but he's a little tied up right now"

So obviously he had seen my message on my boyfriends phone and this pissed me off big style, not only had he been given a time but ignored it, so what else had he ignored me.

Eventually I got a text 1.5 hours later from my boyfriend who said he was OK, I phoned him to check it was him as well.

So I guess I'm trying to make the point that it might be cool to let your other half meet others, but there has to be a definite level of trust with everyone concerned, if that doesn't exist then you'll end up having a night of pacing, checking, worrying etc and trust me it's far from a pleasant experience.

Would I let him meet anyone else after that? the simple answer is I don't know, I have of course discussed it with him and he's cool and said he doesn't want to anyway as it wasn't a patch on playing with me after all, bless him!

So onto the next part, which covers one guy being kinky and the other guy not knowing.

Now for me this is simple, if you are kinky and your boyfriend isn't you have to tell them right away, after all it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Put it in these terms,

You like listening to Dance music but your new partner is into classical and hates dance, do you stop listening to dance music? Of course not. Now I know you're thinking it's not that simple, maybe not but kink is in the blood, if you are kinky then you are kinky there is nothing you can do about it. I know people who have ignored their kink-gene as I call it but it just either does one of two things, makes them miserable because they can't play or ruins the relationship through resentment for the other party.

So if you are adult enough to have a relationship you really need to express the need to play, even if the other half doesn't understand it, it may take time to explain to them how you feel but in the long run it's the right thing to do. You also run the risk if you don't tell them of them finding out if you meet behind their backs or hide it on your computer as porn etc, then it would be like cheating or worse it could be like discovering your partner is a transvestite...he he

Anyways honesty is always the best policy and if they really love you they'll understand in the long run.

The Slaveboys Incident

2009-11-15T23:26:00.001Z

Well some of you may know of a site called slaveboys, for those of you who don't already know it then I would recommend you read the following and just avoid the place like the plague.

So I have been a member of the site for about three years now and overall had a positive experience and met a few decent guys from the site including a few regulars.

Over the last 8-9 months or so a friend of mine (tieguyuk) and myself have become quite bored with the whole site as the forums have become far too bitchy and have been taken over by a group of people we shall call the Clique for the purposes of this post.

Now we're both supporters of free speech and welcome over peoples points of view but the forums had descended into farcical posts about "why my head hurts" and "I'm in need of a cock to suck" and my very own personal favourite "what would you do if you woke up and your boyfriend had turned into a squirrel" post.

Needless to say we were both using the site less and less, now for those of you who don't know the site it is run and owned by a guy called Joe. Joe has a reputation for kicking off when things don;t go his way or people don't agree with his point of view and is quite trigger happy when it comes to deleting people from the site.

So the backstory begins, apparently there was a social gathering of people from Slaveboys held in Edinburgh recently and a few people attended including Joe and the members of the Clique. From what I can tell Joe was pretty much ignored, now this is not very surprising considering he has been abusive and downright nasty on his own site's forums to members in the past, had I been there I'd have avoided him like the plague as well.

So instead of taking the hit on the chin and moving on like an self respecting person would do and just putting it down to life experience and the fact not everyone can be liked all of the time by everyone Joe decided it was time to kick off on his forum again.

Now both Tieguyuk and I have pretty much ceased posting on the forums because of a lack of interest and the fact that whenever anyone but the Clique posted you were slapped down by them or the thread abruptly ended. So when Joe posted on a thread moaning about the thread Tieguy posted in support of Joe as e both felt the same way and it was the right thing to do.

Subsequently Joe sent a nasty message to tieguyuk accusing him of being one of the people who had rejected him, and then deleted his profile, he then sent a message on Recon stating in nasty terms that he had rejected him in the past and was as bad as everyone else.

As a good friend f mine I trust tieguyuk implicitly and when he told me I decided to post on an already running thread condemning the action and sure enough was deleted after being called a liar by Joe on the forum.

So that's pretty much the slaveboys incident in a nutshell.

The loss of use of the site was not a big deal for either of us but being linked with the Clique when we have stood against them so often does kinda get under you skin, the posts I made are shown below and of course Joe's response.
____________________________________________________________________
From what I can see it's more people being deleted rather than leaving.

Joe deleted tieguy for no reason other than he got the wrong end of the stick after tieguy supported him on his leaving post. Yeah he had a rant but not a rude one so has now been deleted from here and fitlads.

Also the person who messaged him privately in support was also deleted. No doubt I will be after this as well, anyone want to see the messages tieguy got give me a yell in msn.

If I'm deleted good luck the rest of you and keep in touch on recon and gearfetish, been nice knowing you.

Not sure what's wrong with Joe but seems like he's having a hard time and deleting for the slightest thing, everybody I've spoken to has had really nasty messages from him.

And this is the response from Joe

id:Cartoonboi - don't spread rumour - you know FUCK ALL about the conversations between me and 'tieguyuk'of course, rather than know the fact, its far easier to make me out to be some sort of headcase if you don't like it, fuck off and die.
____________________________________________________________________

Now to me that doesn't exactly sound like someone of sound mind in fact I think that he handles rejection so badly that it caused him to have some sort of mini breakdown, and so far the running total of people deleted from the site as part of this incident totals 52 members.

Make your own mind up guys, but my advice, stay away from the place.

Experience

2009-11-15T20:48:00.000Z

So I thought I might kick this off with something that actually shocked me this week.

A guy I've tied a few times has been in touch recently after an absence of sessions of about a year, well nothing unusual about that you might say. You'd be right there are people I don't see from one year to the next but this one took me back after a short discussion he asked me if I could show him the ropes as he would like to start topping.

Now until that point I had always thought my ropework to be somewhat basic and have considered myself an amateur upto this point.

I think that it's probably something all tops feel from time to time, I mean I have met a few guys that another top friend of mine has tied and I consider his work to be far superior to my own. So there is always that nagging feeling that you're being compared to the last guy to have tied someone.

I don't think my work is shoddy by any means, but to be asked to teach someone what I know is somewhat flattering and also unnerving at the same time.

I think it's unnerving because the things I show this guy will be used on other subs, and if I don't teach him properly then people could be hurt as a consequence, so it's a confidence thing as well as ensuring I do a good job.

I think my point really is that being asked to do this has made me realise there is always someone lower down the bondage evolution scale than you, and that's what it is, experience and evolution, you start out with one bit of rope and then grow buying cuffs, etc.

It's nice to know I'm no longer at the bottom of the food chain...he he

The Start

2009-11-15T20:40:00.000Z

Hi

Well this is the start of my blog, never really thought of starting one before now but as things move onwards and more things become normal and mundane I thought I'd try one.

I'd like to say it will be all about my meets and such but to be honest the main reasons for starting a blog are the following:

1] Explain how things work in the world of bondage from a tops perspective.

2] Get things off my chest in the vain hope others take heed or understand.

3] Hopefully to give new tops and bottoms an inside view of my little piece of the bondage community.

So if you wanna find out more along, I'm sure some of you will find useful titbits of info and sometimes I may even go into detail about a session or two or a photo or three.

Thanks for reading, feel free to leave comments, any feedback is appreciated.